Friday, July 24, 2009

Mayo's Spread: Gluten is my Bitch

After the intense health battle I've had over the last six months, I've done something somewhat drastic to my diet.

I've eliminated gluten.

You may be wondering why changing my diet would have such a direct effect on my health. Let me explain.

Once I caught whooping cough from a friend's child, my closest lady friends raised the alarm. This was the 4th infection requiring antibiotics and the 6th major illness since getting laid off in January.

The illnesses went as follows:
1- Flu in February
2- Cold in February
3- Throat infection in March
4- UTI in April
5- Throat infection in June
6- Whooping Cough in July

It's not like I went around licking door handles or eating on public toilets after I was laid off. Aside from some stress, most everything else was normal. Now, when you put all my illnesses in a list like that it's pretty depressing, right? Even if you weren't a doctor you'd have to stop and think...maybe there's something going on here to make a seemingly healthy 29-year-old so prone to infections?

I took matters into my own hands and played Dr. Mayo. I may not be related to anyone who founded the Mayo Clinic, but that doesn't mean I can't use my crack research skills and pretend. I've seen enough "Mystery Diagnosis" and been to enough doctors in my life to know how to do this!

My research started with a condition I already have: Hashimoto's Thyroiditis. It's not just hypothyroidism, where the thyroid gland fails to produce the proper hormones to keep your body working. It's an autoimmune condition, where my body literally attacks my thyroid thinking it's a foreign object that must be destroyed. I can't tell if that means my body is self-hating or racist.

In the past, I'd read that many people were having trouble on synthetic thyroid replacements, specifically levothyroxine, the only pill I'd been on since being diagnosed in 2004. I asked my doctor to put me on a natural thyroid pill, known as Armour Thyroid, and at a higher dosage. It's made from powdered pig thyroid, which is kind of gross, but if it works I'm AOK with it. Thankfully, my doc made the switch quickly and I started about two weeks after coming down with the whoop.

I kept digging deeper and found a site that said a very high number of Hashimoto's patients tend to have underlying Celiac's Disease (a genetic condition that prohibits your body from digesting gluten, the protein in wheat that makes your pasta chewy) or gluten intolerance (when your body, over time, can't properly digest gluten). Then I focused my research on this Hashimoto-gluten connection and as I read the symptoms, I realized that I'd found a possible answer to my immune dysfunction.

The argument goes that one is likely a precursor of the other, and each can trigger an autoimmune reaction in the body. So if my body is too busy fighting my thyroid and any wheat/gluten particle in my diet, then it doesn't have any firepower left to protect me from things like whooping cough, throat infections or the dreaded swine flu that is expected to blow up this fall.

Now afraid that any slice of bread, cookie or pasta could literally kill me, I've elimiated it from my diet in the hopes of noticing a difference.

It's been about 10 days on a gluten-free (GF) diet, and there are a few things I've noticed so far:

1- I have really random cravings for wheat items. I'm assuming this is part of the withdrawal process. Three days into the GF diet, I had a wicked migraine that led to vomiting. And as it was happening, my body kept telling me "you need crackers." WTF? I just puked and you want me to eat the thing that could be killing me? I could only guess that my body was freaking out at the lack of wheat in my body. Then the other day, I had a really bad craving for donuts after seeing a Dunkin' commercial. Like, a violent, I'll-tip-cars-and-punch-old-ladies-for-a-bite craving. Now I know how heroin addicts feel in rehab. I had to stay strong.

2-*WARNING THIS IS GOING TO GET GROSS*
I have no gas. Pre-GF diet, I could rival ANYONE in a farting contest. Like, killing plants and choking babies fart contest. It got to the point that I thought my husband was ready to ask for a separation. Since going on the GF diet, my gas has almost been reduced to zero. That's enough of a change for me to keep going. And my husband is thrilled.

3- I have more energy for the first time in months, if not years, and my insomnia is waning. I'm not back to normal, but I'm definitely able to stay awake longer during the day and sleep longer during the night. This could be due to the fact that I changed my thyroid medicine, but I'm also guessing it's because my body isn't so tired having to fight off the gluten all day. I remember noticing that everytime I had pasta or a sandwich for lunch at work, I would want to pass out right afterwards. Now I have a meal and I feel the same energy level before as I do after.

4- I've lost some weight. In this short period of time, I've lost about 5 lbs. Even the old soccer player guy living across the street stopped me the other day to say he's noticed I've lost weight. Major plus.

It is early on in the process and my symptoms aren't gone, but this is an interesting start. I'm not saying I have Celiac's, but I'm pretty certain I do have gluten intolerance. And though many sites suggest getting checked out by doctors before starting a GF diet, I'm not going to be doing that. I don't have insurance right now, and the last thing I want is to have a "disease" listed on my medical chart for health insurance companies to pounce on once I do have coverage again. Plus, if the only treatment is to go on a GF diet, then why am I going to be hundreds of dollars for testing?

All this research has been very interesting, I must say. It seems that possibly millions of people around world have a problem with wheat and gluten, and many don't know about it. A recent Reuters report said that cases of Celiacs are up dramatically, according to Mayo Clinic research (HA! Mayo's know their stuff). Even more interesting is that this increase in gluten sensitivity isn't just happening in the U.S.—it's going on around the world, regardless of income level or race.

If you want my opinion (you're on my blog so you're going to get it), I think gluten intolerance is WAY more widespread than people think, and it may be an underlying cause of the obesity epidemic. Researchers are finding that many people with Celiacs or gluten intolerance are overweight, where previously it was thought that weight loss and malnutrition were the only indicators. All this "you're eating for emotional reasons" bullcrap is really masking that our bodies have a chemical dependence on these highly processed foods (even though it's killing us) and turning them down is really difficult. Once you realize how many foods have wheat and gluten—from salad dressings to beer to barbecue sauce to cookies to vitamins—this theory might not sound so crazy.

If you want to read more about living gluten free, gluten intolerance or Celiac's, here are some sites you can visit.

www.gluten.net
glutenfreegoddess.blogspot.com
holdthegluten.net

And please share your thoughts! Do you think you have gluten intolerance? Do you think my theory is full o poop?

Thursday, July 23, 2009

The Daily WTF: Why Liz Mayo Hasn't Posted in Months

Wow...that last post was depressing. It turns out my health didn't improve much from then. Long story short, I was quite sick and it sucked. I'm much better now so ON WITH THE SHOW!

One thing I did do while not blogging was visit a shooting range. This is a WTF if I ever wrote one. My brother, sister, sister's boyfriend, a bunch of other people and I went to take a training course with some dude who I would swear had PTSD. He said he had Kelly Osbourne in the same shooting range and she wanted him to have her target after it was all done. I don't think I believe him.

Here's some photos to entertain you all. Thankfully, no one got hurt. I promise there will be more posts here soon.

Friday, February 27, 2009

The Daily WTF: Why the Flu Sucks

This is what happens when you get the version of the flu that is going around NYC. You feel compelled to make pathetic faces and put on any ridiculous accessory that you find in your sister's room.

I'm back...starting to feel closer to normal than I have in a long time, but still feeling like a 17-year-old since I'm living in my parents' house. The repairs to our new place should only take two more weeks, and then I'll be blogging LIVE from FLUSHING! WOOT WOOT.

Until then, I'm going to hope and pray that the FDIC really did insure my account at Citibank. The fact that the company is tanking fast, and Dick Parsons is now in charge (you know, that guy who screwed up Time Warner and invested in another company that I worked for that is near failure and shall remain nameless) makes me think the number on my statement might be imaginary.

I'm wondering when we're going to see a run on the banks like in "Mary Poppins"? I actually went looking for this video and found the whole song in that scene, and it's pretty prophetic. Watch it below.


Saturday, February 14, 2009

The Daily WTF: Mayo has Flu


I know I keep making promises to you lovely people, then breaking them.

I am sorry.

I have this freaky-mutated-awful-gross-painful flu that is going around NYC, and I have barely had the strength to get out of bed, much less entertain you all.

Things will get back to normal soon. I hope?

Friday, February 13, 2009

The Daily WTF: There's Shit in your Food

Thanks, New York Times, for bringing us this little gem of a story. If you thought the stories of the contaminated peanut plant in Georgia were horrific, then maybe you should skip this post.

This report claims that on average, we eat up to two pounds of maggots, mites and other critters every year. It's not like you're eating it in your sleep, so it must be on the actual food that we ingest...food we think is clean and monitored by the FDA.

In fact, the FDA doesn't care that this stuff is in our food and actually says a certain percentage of "natural contaminants" is OK. Here's my favorite part of this OPED:

"Tomato juice, for example, may average “10 or more fly eggs per 100 grams [the equivalent of a small juice glass] or five or more fly eggs and one or more maggots.” Tomato paste and other pizza sauces are allowed a denser infestation — 30 or more fly eggs per 100 grams or 15 or more fly eggs and one or more maggots per 100 grams.

Canned mushrooms may have “over 20 or more maggots of any size per 100 grams of drained mushrooms and proportionate liquid” or “five or more maggots two millimeters or longer per 100 grams of drained mushrooms and proportionate liquid” or an “average of 75 mites” before provoking action by the F.D.A.

The sauerkraut on your hot dog may average up to 50 thrips. And when washing down those tiny, slender, winged bugs with a sip of beer, you might consider that just 10 grams of hops could have as many as 2,500 plant lice. Yum."

There's more, but I'll spare you.

This reminds me of the line in "Fast Food Nation"—"There's shit in the beef." It seems that was an understatement.

Will you ever be able to eat anything ever again after reading this post?